


No Shenanigans

by highpoweredmutant



Category: Lovely Little Losers, Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Alcohol references, Angst angst all the ANGST, But also kissing, Fluff, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Some Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 10:11:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4662738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highpoweredmutant/pseuds/highpoweredmutant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fic grew from an idea I couldn't get out of my head...<br/>What if Peter and Balthazar had to kiss as a punishment for breaking a flat rule?<br/>----------<br/>“Freddie and I brainstormed punishments, and we decided…you have to kiss Balthazar. On camera.” Ben delivered the punishment with a wink.</p><p>Freddie shot Balthazar a pleading look. Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Balthazar pulled his sleeves over his hands.</p><p>“What?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Kiss for a Punishment

“I managed to pull off a B! Suck it, History!” Ben exclaimed as he thrust his exam into the air, victorious. “Balth, how’d you do?” 

Balthazar, Ben, and Peter were walking out of class towards the bus stop as the sun dipped below the horizon and the windy Wellington sky took on a shade of deep orange. It reminded Balthazar of mangoes and silly lunch hours back in Auckland.

Balthazar tried to contain his excitement about the thick red letter grade on the paper in his hands. “Uh, yeah. Good I guess. A-,” he said.

“A-? Hell ya, Balthy!” Ben gave him a victory high five before turning to Peter. “How about you, Peter?”

Balthazar looked at Peter and his heart sank. The boy’s face was set in a disappointed scowl. Peter crumpled his midterm and tossed it in the nearest garbage. 

“None of your business, Ben. See you both later.” Peter turned abruptly and started to cross the street towards downtown.

“Where are you going, Peter? Flat curfew is only a few hours from now!” Ben yelled after him.

“Congrats, Balth.” Peter muttered back as he passed out of sight. 

Balthazar felt like he deserved the _Worst Friend Of The Year_ award. He knew Peter had barely studied for the midterm; he shouldn’t have even mentioned his good grade. Balthazar thought about running after Peter, convincing him that it was only the midterm, and offering to help him study for the final. Then maybe he could take Peter to his favourite tea shop around the corner…but he stopped himself. He didn’t want to risk another fight. The last one had devastated Balthazar and jeopardized their friendship. 

With his A-, Balthazar was sure he was the last person Peter would want comforting him right now. Balthazar knew Peter had a complex about not living up to his “all round great guy" status. He didn’t want to risk Peter thinking that Balthazar was coming back to say “I told you so,” or have some condescending conversation about how Peter should focus more on his studies. Besides, they lived together, so Balthazar could approach Peter at home after he had time to calm down. 

But Peter was incoherent by the time he arrived home at quarter to ten. Balthazar was trying a new chord progression on his ukulele when Peter stumbled into the house, stinking of alcohol, and muttered a slurred “ni-ghttt” before shutting himself in his room. Balthazar understood. Peter needed the night to drown his sorrows, but in the morning Balthazar would bring him tea and they could move forward.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Balthazar, Freddie, and Ben were in the kitchen conducting their morning rituals — Balthazar setting out water and Ibuprofen for Peter, Freddie nursing her cup of coffee, and Ben making a stack of toast while regaling them with stories from Fridgris Elba. 

“Where’s Peter?” Freddie asked as her nose scrunched with disgust. “The trash is full again."

“He’s still sleeping I think,” said Balthazar. “He got a bad grade back on his History midterm yesterday and went out for a few drinks. I’ll take it out.” Balthazar knew Peter would appreciate the help. 

“No _way._ ” Freddie slammed her coffee down. “This house will not fall into a state of disrepair again. Peter signed the contract, so it’s his responsibility.”

Freddie marched out of the kitchen towards Peter’s room, her fiery determination matching her hair.

“Freds — wait — I’m sure he’ll be up soon.” Balthazar chased after her, but she was already knocking furiously on Peter’s door. 

“Peter! The garbage is full again and Stan is _not_ allowed to pick up your slack!” Freddie yelled.  

A low groan could be heard from inside Peter’s room followed by…frantic whispering? A muffled “shit” could be heard, then a series of bumps, shuffling, and more whispers. Balthazar couldn’t tell exactly what was going on but he knew one thing for sure: Peter wasn’t alone. 

“Oh. My.  _God_.” Freddie’s eyes went wide as it dawned on her. “Peter, is someone in there? I’m coming in!”

“Freddie—“ Balthazar started, but she swung the door wide to reveal a disheveled Peter in his boxers, struggling to open his bedroom window for a half-naked guy to climb out. The guy was shirtless, tall, and muscular, with dirty blonde hair and tattoos covering his arms. Balthazar felt like he had been punched in the gut, while simultaneously pushed down a flight of stairs. 

Hadn’t the flatmates agreed to no romantic relationships? Why would Peter break the flat rules for some random guy? Sure, he was attractive and probably confident and great in bed. In fact, Balthazar was convinced the guy climbing out of Peter’s window probably walked right up to Peter at the bar last night and told him he wanted to go home with him. He probably kissed Peter without waiting for Peter to make the first move, and held his hand without thinking twice about whether or not it would fit. Obviously that’s what Peter wanted: action. Not Balthazar and his stupid songs and stolen glances. What an idiot Balthazar had been for thinking he would just bring tea and Peter would fall for him. 

Freddie was beside herself. “Peter! What the _hell_?” 

Ben rushed over, camera outstretched, to document Peter’s guilt-stricken face and the confused random guy now halfway out of Peter's window. 

“Shenanigans! Let the record show that Peter has been caught breaking the 'No Shenanigans’ rule!” Ben was giddy.  

Balthazar had seen enough. Pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, Balthazar turned to retreat to his room where his guitar and some much needed silence were waiting.

“Balth—" Peter started, now more focused on the boy pulling his sleeves over his hands as he walked away than on the one climbing out of his window. 

“Peter, your punishment will be assigned at 5:00 tonight. Don’t be late!” Freddie slammed Peter’s door shut and stormed back to the kitchen to retrieve her coffee.  

“My Benaddickts will be thrilled!” Ben almost tripped in his haste to upload the footage.  

“Stan, Ben, meet in my room to brainstorm punishments at 4:30.” Freddie closed her bedroom door behind her and the flat was quiet again.

 

* * *

 

The four roommates gathered around the camera on the couch, occupying the same seats as when Balthazar’s punishment had been delivered during “HUMMUS.” Ben, Freddie, and Peter squished on the couch, Balthazar occupying the armrest next to Peter. Balthazar hadn’t bothered to help Freddie and Ben come up with a punishment. He didn’t want to re-live the morning’s chain of events. But Freddie had insisted he attend the punishment meeting.

“Can you guys just forget about this dumb rule? My sex life has nothing to do with you!” Peter directed his anger towards Freddie and Ben. 

“Obviously it does when you can’t even wake up before noon to take out the trash like you agreed to,” Freddie pushed back. “We made these rules to make the flat a nice place to live. Having to chase some random guy out of our flat just so you can get out of bed and take out the trash is not my idea of a pleasant morning.”

"Fine, whatever,” Peter resigned. “What do I have to do — your laundry for a week?”

Ben took over with a sly look on his face that made Balthazar nervous. “No, Peter. The punishment has to fit the crime…” 

Ben let the words hang in the air as Balthazar considered a punishment that would be fitting for breaking the ‘No Shenanigans’ rule. No human contact for a week? No social media? Having to conduct an embarrassing task?

"Freddie and I brainstormed punishments, and we decided…you have to kiss Balthazar. On camera.” Ben delivered the punishment with a wink. 

Freddie shot Balthazar a pleading look. Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Balthazar pulled his sleeves over his hands.

“What?” Peter asked, taken aback.

Balthazar kicked himself for not attending the punishment brainstorming meeting. If he had been there he could have explained to Freddie and Ben how mortifying this punishment would be for him, and stopped them from inflicting this torture on Peter and himself. Obviously Peter wouldn’t go through with it. There was no way.

Freddie and Ben spoke quickly, loudly, cutting each other off as they frantically attempted to explain their rationale. 

“You were caught engaging in shenanigans with some random dude—“ Freddie started.

“So the only appropriate punishment—“ Ben continued.

“For the shenanigans—“ 

“Yes, the shenanigans you deliberately engaged in—“

“The only appropriate punishment is to engage in shenanigans dictated by us — the flatmates you betrayed.” 

“Then maybe you’ll learn that your shenanigans affect the whole flat, and if we don’t have a choice, you don’t have a choice,” said Ben, pointing his index finger at Peter for emphasis.  

Balthazar shook his head as he stared at the ground. What a ridiculous line of reasoning. There were so many holes, Balthazar didn’t even know where to begin. 

But before Balthazar had the chance to say anything, two hands gently tilted his face up, and he was greeted by Peter’s lips. Balthazar had imagined this moment since year 9, but his dreams didn’t even come close to the real thing. He realized every stupid cliché ever used to describe a first kiss with your crush was absolutely right. Fireworks, falling, sparks, flying, electricity, butterflies, walking on air, exhilaration, panic. Peter didn’t hold back, and Balthazar lost himself in the moment. It was the most all-consuming feeling he had ever experienced. He was being kissed by Peter Donaldson. For the first time... 

…as a punishment. His first kiss with Peter was a punishment. Great.

As quickly as he had leaned in, Peter pulled away and practically ran from the couch. Balthazar had barely opened his eyes before Peter grabbed his jacket and walked out the front door of the flat.

As the door closed behind Peter, hot rage seared through Balthazar. He stood up and shot the most vicious glare he could muster at Ben and Freddie, still on the couch, mouths open, gaping up at Balthazar as if they had just witnessed the first moon landing. 

“How could you?” Balthazar asked, frustration and hurt filling his voice.

Freddie and Ben sat in stunned silence for a moment longer, before Ben asked, “how could we what?”

Freddie shook her head in astonishment, “we just got Peter to finally kiss you! And it was insanely hot. We thought you would be thrilled about your first kiss with Pet—”

“ _No_. You stole that from me,” Balthazar explained, distraught. “You stole my first kiss with Peter and made it into a punishment. Now we’ll never get that moment back. He’ll never kiss me again.” 

“What?” Ben was genuinely confused, “of course he will!”

“Just stop, Ben,” Balthazar explained with increasing frustration. “He never actually wanted to kiss me, he just did it because you told him to. And then he practically ran out of here. If we ever had a shot at getting together, you two just officially blew it. You forced him before he was ready. You scared him off. It’s over.”

Balthazar had managed to silence Ben and Freddie. They both looked at their hands, shoulders hunched, before Ben got up to turn off the camera. 

Exhausted and heartbroken, Balthazar retreated to his room. He buried his face in a pillow and let darkness overtake him. He could still feel Peter’s lips on his, but now it felt like the end of everything. The end of his musical professions of love, the end of Peter’s sideways glances, the end of their almost-something. 

 


	2. Kiss for a New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Peter and Balthazar's first kiss as a punishment for breaking a flat rule.  
> \----------  
> “Peter, we’re not going to eliminate the ‘No Shenanigans’ rule just so you can bring random people back to the flat,” Freddie said, gesturing towards Peter’s room.
> 
> “No, it’s not about that. I want to date someone. I want to be in a relationship.” Peter was radiating happiness and enthusiasm. 
> 
> Balthazar wished he could sink into the floor. Peter had found someone else. Someone he was so crazy about that he wanted to properly eliminate a flat rule to be with them. It would be so much worse to watch Peter fall in love than to watch him bring home random hookups.

Balthazar woke up the next day with a massive headache, half curled up in his blankets, still in his clothes from the night before. It took him a moment to remember that the events from the previous day had not, in fact, been a dream. He groaned.

Three knocks on his door. “Stan?” It was Freddie.

“Freds, I’m not in the mood.” Balthazar wasn’t actually sure why she was there, but he definitely didn’t want to talk.

“Ben and I brought you tea…”

Damn. She had him there. “Yeah, alright, come in.”

Balthazar sat up, cradling the hot beverage as if its contents could cure the ache in his head and his heart. Ben and Freddie nervously watched him take a few sips while settling at the end of his bed.

“We’re really sorry, Stan–“ Freddie’s voice wavered slightly, so Balthazar knew she was genuine.

“It was my idea really, so don’t blame Freds,” Ben interjected. “I guess I got attached to the idea of the kiss itself and didn’t think about the consequences. I’m so sorry, Balth.”

“Thanks guys,” Balthazar appreciated their honesty. “I mean, just to be clear, the kiss itself wasn’t the issue. Best case scenario is that Peter acts like it never happened and we can still be friends and flatmates.”

_Because he obviously doesn_ _’_ _t want anything more_ – Balthazar tried to push the thought away.

“Well…yeah, about that…” Ben looked everywhere but at Balthazar’s confused stare.

“What?” asked Balthazar. “Is Peter moving out or something?” This is exactly why Balthazar didn’t want to make a move on Peter. Now he would move out and that would be it. Goodbye best friend.

“No, no, nothing like that,” Freddie quickly corrected him.

“So what then?” This kind of dramatic suspense was not what Balthazar needed first thing in the morning.

“Peter wants to have a flat meeting tonight,” Ben explained.

“Why?” Balthazar thought Peter had made it abundantly clear that he thought flat meetings were a waste of time. 

“He wouldn’t say. He just said to make sure we’re all in the living room at 8,” said Ben.

“You’ll come, right Stan?” Freddie asked. She and Ben seemed to hold their breath in anticipation of Balthazar’s response. As if he had a choice. If he didn’t show up, Peter would know the kiss had affected him. He needed to act as casual as possible if he wanted to keep their friendship, and the flat dynamic, in tact.

_Not that you_ _’_ _ll be able to live with just being Peter_ _’_ _s friend after that kiss_ – he couldn’t help but think.

“Yeah, sure.” Balthazar sipped his tea and gestured to his desk. “I’ve got some assignments to do. See you at the meeting?”

“Right – let us know if you need anything, Balth.” They shot him concerned glances as they shuffled out the door.

 

* * *

 

Balthazar was trying and failing to concentrate on an English essay when his Skype popped up. Incoming call from Ursula. Shit. Balthazar had completely forgot they agreed to catch up over Skype the night before.

“Hey, Urs, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot about last night.”

“Balth, if I had known you were going to be busy sucking Peter’s face, I would have happily rescheduled.” Ursula wore a cheeky smile as Balthazar turned beet red.

“Wha – uh – no – Urs, it wasn’t like that. Wait, how do you know about…?” Apparently coherent sentences were a thing of the past for Balthazar now.

“How do I find out about anything going on in your flat? Ben’s videos. You knew he was filming, right?”

“Oh _God_.” Balthazar put his head in his hands. Of course his perfect, ruined first kiss with Peter would now live in infamy on the Internet. “I knew, I just didn’t think about the fact that he’d post it so _soon_.”

Balthazar minimized the Skype conversation with Ursula and frantically brought up Ben’s YouTube. There it was: SHENANIGANS.

“Balth, are you bringing it up?” asked Ursula. “Are you sure you want to watch it?”

Balthazar clicked on the link. “Did he cut the last part? Please tell me he cut the last part…”

The video ended with the front door closing behind Peter as he left the flat. At least Ben had the decency to cut out Balthazar’s distressed rant. He would have been mortified if Peter had seen how he reacted.

“What last part? Did Peter come back?” Ursula was blissfully unaware.

“No, I just had a few words with Freddie and Ben after that.”

“Rightly so. I can’t believe they sprung that on you. What was it like Balth? We used to talk about what you thought it would be like. But were the circumstances just too weird?”

“It was…”

_Like drowning, and flying, and scoring a goal, and applause after a gig, and the first day of summer, and composing a new song, and being completely lost while at the same time found._

“Unexpected.” 

“It looked like Peter was really into it…” Ursula went on.

“Um – yeah – he was…”

_Spectacular. Passionate. Balthazar was practically in need of resuscitation._

“Focused.” 

“Ok, well you’re clearly too close to the incident to be able to have a coherent conversation about it,” Ursula rightly pointed out. “Have you two talked?”

“No. Peter called a flat meeting tonight. I don’t know what about. Urs – what if – what if he wants to move out?"

“Try not to stress about it, Balth. Just go and hear what he has to say.”

It was good advice. So why couldn’t Balthazar stop his mind from racing?

“Thanks. Can I call you later? I’m in the middle of some homework.”

“Sure, no problem. Call me whenever. I’m here for you.”

Balthazar hung up and pressed replay on Ben’s video. Watching it made him feel embarrassed, euphoric, and nauseous all at the same time. It gave him a whole new perspective on the moment. Peter had barely waited for Ben to finish his sentence – he didn’t retaliate or pause. He just turned and kissed Balthazar like it was an everyday occurrence in the flat. Balthazar watched the video again and again.

 

* * *

 

Ben, Freddie, and Balthazar sat on the couch. 8:08pm and no sign of Peter. Balthazar concentrated on breathing and fiddled with his sleeves. Ben checked the camera. Freddie braided and unbraided her hair.

At 8:10 Peter swung open the front door in a rush. Balthazar felt like no time had passed since Peter closed that same door last night. But tonight Peter was dressed up – he wore a collared shirt, tie, and suspenders. Balthazar was barely holding it together and Peter had to go and be devastatingly handsome on top of everything? So unfair.

Peter had a wild smile on his face and he spoke in energetic fragments. It was disorienting. “Hi! Guys – hi – you’re all here,” he stared directly at Balthazar. “Good! Thanks for waiting. I was just – well – I’m here. Ok. So. Wow. Um…”

Ben stepped in, “Peter, what’s this all about?”

“Good question," Peter said. “Brilliant. I want to make a motion. A motion to eliminate one of the flat rules. Effective immediately. I think we should take a vote.”

“Peter, we just signed the contract-“ Freddie tried to argue.

“I know, but it’s really important. Life or death. Ok – maybe not quite – but almost. Just a vote. Please,” implored Peter.

“Fine. Which rule?” Freddie asked.

_Please don_ _’_ _t say it, please don'_ _t say it_ _…_ _anything but_ _—_

“The ‘No Shenanigans’ rule.”

_That._

“Peter, we’re not going to eliminate the ‘No Shenanigans’ rule just so you can bring random people back to the flat,” Freddie said, gesturing towards Peter’s room.

“No, it’s not about that. I want to date someone. I want to be in a relationship.” Peter was radiating happiness and enthusiasm. 

Balthazar wished he could sink into the floor. It was confirmed. Peter had found someone else. Someone he was so crazy about that he wanted to properly eliminate a flat rule to be with them. He would commit to seeing them every day and having them stay over and attend flat dinners and meet his family. It would be so much worse to watch Peter fall in love than to watch him bring home random hookups. Balthazar would have to move out. What was that Shakespeare line? He could either be gone and live, or stay and die.

“Well I’m already in a relationship, so I obviously vote ‘yes’ to eliminate the rule!” Ben was overjoyed as he spoke into the camera. “Beatrice, come visit!”

“Well I vote ‘no,’” said Freddie. “I’m sorry, Peter, but the flat is a nicer place to live without the complications of romance and heartbreak.” Freddie cast a sideways glance at Balthazar.

So it came down to Balthazar’s vote. Perfect. If he voted ‘no’ it would be a tie and the rule would remain the default – Peter would hate him. But if he voted ‘yes’ he’d have to move out to avoid Peter and his new significant other. It was a no-win situation.

“Balth?” His voice was like listening to a new Mumford and Sons song – familiar and warm, but exhilarating. He couldn’t say no to Peter’s voice.

“Yeah, fine.” Balthazar couldn’t look at Peter as he cast his vote. He was sure Peter would see right through him, like he always did. At least now the voting was over Balthazar could start packing his room.

“Great! Excellent! Phew – ok.” Peter was ecstatic and still a little frantic. He took a deep breath. “Balthazar…”

Balthazar summoned his courage and looked up at the boy he so desperately wanted to be with. His heart broke for the billionth time as he saw how happy Peter was.

“Do you want to go outside with me?” Peter asked, beaming as he gestured to the front door.

“Yeah.” What other answer could Balthazar give? “Yeah, sure.”

Balthazar followed Peter outside in a daze and was greeted by a wall of sound. It was…an orchestra? Yes, a full orchestra lined up on the walkway and stairs leading up to the flat. Strings, woodwinds, brasses, percussion – they were all there.  And they were playing…his song? It was unbelievable. It must have taken all day to arrange the orchestration, but somehow the orchestra was playing “A New Beginning,” just for him. Beautifully.

Balthazar stood in shock at the music resounding around him. And just as he thought the moment couldn’t get any more magical, a warm hand slipped perfectly into his. Peter’s. He knew it would.

“I wanted our second kiss to be special, seeing as how our first kiss was for some dumb punishment.” Peter was looking at Balthazar like they were the only two people in the world.

Balthazar was dumbfounded. “Our second?—”

Peter used his free hand to pull Balthazar in for a kiss even more breathtaking than the first.

It was him. Peter wanted him.

The music swelled.

_How can I keep it to myself? I want to shout it from the rooftops that it'_ _s all taking shape. I'm_ _ready to make my move_ _…_ _let'_ _s escape._


End file.
